If We Were All Police Officers

And someone made allegations that there was a paedophile ring operating within our Police Force the public, quite rightly, would demand a full and diligent enquiry to get to the bottom of it.

If we had lost a bundle of papers relating to corrupt Police Officers there would be a Public Outcry.

Allegations have been made, quite reasonably, about corruption, wrongdoing and misconduct that date back decades. There have been enquiries into some of these allegations, there are enquiries currently ongoing into others, and there will be enquiries into yet more.

They will cost a lot of money, but I am not proposing that they be abandoned.

If We Were All Journalists and someone made allegations that we were #Hacking peoples’ phones there would be, and have been, enquiries into these allegations and prosecutions arising from these investigations.

If We Were All Celebrities and several people made allegations that one or more of us had embarked upon a crusade of Indecency offences against girls, boys, women and men, as long ago as the 70s, there would be public outcry and a mass investigation.  Some of us celebrities would grip the rail and get banged up for a few years, and that would be right and proper.

If We Were All Politicians and people made allegations that a sizeable number of us either were, or had been in the past, paedophiles and that it was being covered up by the establishment we’d be laughing.

Ministers including Nick Clegg and Theresa May have been rejecting calls for a full-scale public inquiry into historical child abuse, insisting a police investigation will be sufficient to get to the bottom of the claims.

David Camoron has supposedly ordered a fresh investigation to discover what happened to the missing dossier detailing explosive claims of a Westminster paedophile ring.

Mr Camoron said he understood mounting concerns about what happened to the dossier handed over to then Home Secretary Leon Brittan by Tory MP Geoffrey Dickens in 1983. He said: ‘That’s why I’ve asked the permanent secretary at the Home Office [Mark Sedwill] to do everything he can to find answers to all of these questions and to make sure we can reassure people about these events.’

Am I missing the point here?  When the Police and/or the Home Office ‘lose’ the Operation Tiberius and Operation Countryman files, there is outcry, not only about the loss/destruction/shredding of the files but demanding an investigation into the actual content of the files. (Someone, somewhere knows what they say, trust me).

When Geoffrey Dickens’ dossier goes missing there is only a mild papering over the cracks with an investigation to try and work out what might have happened to them.

Is it just me, or is alleged paedophilia by our politicians, MPs, Cabinet Ministers, and the like, not FAR MORE IMPORTANT than what happened to a few files?  The contents of those files are important I grant you, but if they have been destroyed, or merely ‘lost’ are we happy for that to be the end of it?

Come on Mr Camoron, grow a pair, save the country a whole heap of time and expense, and order a full-scale criminal investigation (Yewtree Style) into these allegations of paedophilia.  You never know your luck, victims might just pop up and make statements just like they did with Saville, Harris and Hall etc.  The dossier might just resurface somewhere. We might find a smoking gun.

Just because the suspects are/were politicians is no reason whatsoever to whitewash it.

I remember in the 70s we were ordered to STOP all operations against ‘Cottageing’ unless we had put a notice in the local newspaper and at the prospective venues warning folk of our operations “because we were likely to arrest politicians” amongst others. How is that right?  Would the Senior Management of NSY taken such a liberal approach if we were likely to arrest Police Officers or School, Teachers or Doctors or Firemen in our operations?

I very much doubt it.

Stop being so hypocritical and just get on with it and do it properly, 7 detectives and an answerphone machine is a joke.

How many tecs are deployed on Yewtree? How many tecs are deployed on Op Alice?  How many tecs are deployed on Op Weeting. How many tecs are deployed on Operation Ore?

Get a grip and just admit that MPs can be paedophiles too, then gain some much-needed respect by dealing with the allegations properly and sincerely.

MPs raise fears over cuts to Army

No Shit Sherlock.

Who do they think we are?  Do they think we’re really stupid? Don’t answer that, of course they do.

Plans to cut soldiers could leave the Army “short of personnel” and unable to meet future national security needs, a report by MPs has warned.

The Commons Defence Select Committee has also expressed its concern over the “the lack of consultation over the Army 2020 plan.”   That’s not an unfamiliar story either.

Under the Future Army 202 plan personnel numbers will be cut from 102,000 to 82,000 by 2018, with a doubling of reservist numbers. (Still sounding familiar).  The number of part-time soldiers, or reservists, is to be doubled from 15,000 to 30,000, but the Army is still a long way off from meeting its targets and the MPs’ report says there is scepticism that it will be able to recruit the numbers it needs.

Overall, the report echoes a familiar theme: the cuts to the armed forces have been driven by the need to save money, rather than any strategic vision of Britain’s place in the world.

So here we have it, a government hell-bent on doing whatever they think fit just to try and balance the books and make themselves look good, scoring a few points off the Opposition as they go.

Is that what we, the taxpayer, the voters, really want?

I, for one, want an Army (Navy/Air Force) that is fit for purpose.  I don’t want an Army that’s Second-Rate, poor relation to the rest of the world.

But it isn’t just the Armed Forces is it?  Police numbers cut by 16,000 so far, with more to come.  Coastguard Stations closing all around our coast. If you think you don’t need them then I assume you never go swimming in the sea on holiday, never go surfing, never take a Cross Channel Ferry. Why else would you not need them?

The NHS is in crisis with 145 Hospital Trusts forecasting that they will end the year in the red.

Some of the worst are;

Barts Health trust £50m

University Hospitals of Leicester trust £40m

University Hospital of North Staffordshire trust £28m

Barking, Havering and Redbridge University Hospitals trust £24m

Mid Essex Hospital Services trust £20m

Mid Yorkshire Hospitals trust £20m

North West London Hospitals trust £20m

South London Healthcare trust (dissolved) £20m

East Sussex Healthcare trust £19m

Croydon Health Services trust £18m

Barnet and Chase Farm Hospitals trust £17m

The Princess Alexandra Hospital NHS trust (West Midlands) £17m

United Lincolnshire Hospitals trust £17m

Plymouth Hospitals trust £13m

North Cumbria University Hospitals trust £12m

Wye Valley trust £11m

Is yours there?

And then we have the banks.

RBS have recently announced losses of £8.2 Billion this financial year, with a staggering total of £46 BILLION lost over the last 6 years.  Are the bosses in prison, on bail awaiting trial, queuing up at the dole office, P40 in hand? NO they are not.  Instead they are paying themselves slightly smaller bonuses.

RBS set aside £576m for staff bonuses in 2013, of which £237m went to investment bankers; the bonus pot is down 15% on the previous year.

The bonuses for RBS alone would completely wipe out the £500 million savings that the Met (the largest Force in England & Wales) are having to make.  Pick on a few more banks, confiscate their bonuses (unless they actually deserve them of course) and UK Policing would start to look a bit more viable again.

I don’t have a degree in Advanced International Economics, but Vince Cable said

“But British taxpayers are still paying for the terrible mistakes of the past and I see no sign yet of a turnaround in the continuing decline of net lending to small business.

The public will simply not understand why big bonuses and large salaries continue to be paid out by a loss-making public enterprise, still underperforming in many areas.” and he’s quite right, I don’t bloody understand it.

If savings really have to be made then they have to be made, but I have seen some really reckless, foolhardy decisions over the last year or so, and it really winds me up to see the bankers seemingly immune to it all when it was them, globally, wot started this whole mess.

May I refer you back to one of my blogs from January?

Policing In Austerity Two And A Half Years On

42% (YES nearly HALF, not a trypo) of the 43 Forces in England and Wales are already reporting that their establishment is currently LOWER than their planned March 2015 Target.  That’s not about Austerity, it’s gone beyond that. What are ACPO doing about that statistic?  Are ACPO driving that statistic? Or is it Cruella, the driving force.

One thing is for certain, it’s not over yet. We have yet to see the end game. What will UK Policing look like in 2015? No dogs, no horses, a few water cannons to make up for pitifully low manpower levels?.  Who knows, but I truly fear that it will get worse before it gets better.

Challenge and change: Police Identity, Morale and Goodwill in an Age of Austerity.

I begin by thanking @Peter_Kirkham for the inspiration for today’s blog.  I have no idea where he dug it up from but he found and circulated a scientifically based academic document entitled Challenge and change:
Police Identity, Morale and Goodwill in an Age of Austerity.

As far as I am concerned and aware It is the intellectual property of Dr James Hoggett of the University of the West of England in Bristol, so just for once I will refrain from quoting wholesale from it but I would seriously encourage you all to read it, just click on the link above.

Most importantly it is an INDEPENDENT assessment of the current state of play across all 43 Police Forces.

Almost as important is the methodology of the sampling used, just over 13,500 Police Officers between Police Constable and Chief Inspector have submitted their views in reply to the questionnaire, which is FAR more scientific and representative than any sampling conducted by a certain Mr Tom Winsor.

This has resulted in a lengthy report (some 170 pages) but if you haven’t got the time for all of that PLEASE please please read the Executive Summary, that’s only 3 pages.

Stick Boy is sadly absent but even I can get the gist of what’s being said from the Exec Summary.

Not comfortable reading for HMG, so you may never read this report again. Please take the time to read and possibly disseminate this report.

Finally, if I have done the wrong thing in any way by highlighting this report I do apologise, my intentions were honourable.

Why We Fight – Police Choice

Below is a website that was brought to my attention recently.  It is a little bit different from to the norm. It’s author is a retired Police Inspector. I make no comment or specific recommendation but it might be worth a look. Challenging times sometimes call for something just a little bit different

Why We Fight – Police Choice.

We believe that Policing is NOT a ‘Blue collar job’ that is overpaid.
Policing is NOT a ‘job for life’ for malingering malcontents.
Policing is a vocation that should attract the best of our citizens. They understand the realities of life in our country. Police Officers deal with the demands of a Public who, through misinformation, do not understand the impact of the savage cuts on the Service.
The ‘Unholy Alliance’ of Government, private security firms like G4S, plus the Association of Chief Police Officers [ACPO] continually tell the public that ‘it is business as usual’!
They allege that the ‘Front Line’ is being protected, and that ‘inefficient’ back offices functions are being ‘sorted’. The reality is so different.
In our view, this is either disingenuous or daft, as NO ONE HAS EVER DEFINED THE ‘FRONT LINE’!!

What Do I Want For 2014?

Happy New Year to my reader.

One thing I don’t want for 2014 is World Peace. If I say I want that I’ll end up being elected as Miss World 2014 and that would never do.

What I do want is for our Government and the Press to stop lying to us. A bold statement, but true I feel.

The government have stated and the press have reported that Migrants and Overseas Visitors will soon have to pay for their treatment for NHS services.  Well I’ve got news for you. They should be paying already.

To the best of my knowledge no-one from outside the EU is entitled to free NHS treatment whether they be Health Tourist or Holidaymaker.  They are supposed to be charged for their treatment and reclaim it from Health/Travel Insurance if applicable.

EU residents can be issued with a European Health Insurance Card (EHIC) which is a re[placement for the old E111 us codgers will remember.

Your EHIC lets you get state healthcare at a reduced cost or sometimes for free. It will cover you for treatment that is needed to allow you to continue your stay until your planned return. It also covers you for treatment of pre-existing medical conditions and for routine maternity care, as long as you’re not going abroad to give birth.

The EHIC is valid in all European Economic Area (EEA) countries, including Switzerland.

Nothing there states that it is free except in certain circumstances.  The reverse is true when Johnny Frenchman comes to visit us, he has to produce his EHIC and pay the reduced rate, even at GP surgeries.

When Mrs Angry and I left these shores for France we were summarily expelled from the NHS, had our medical records stored gathering dust in Newcastle somewhere and if we needed to visit the doctor whilst visiting family in the UK then we were supposed to pay and claim it back from the French authorities or Travel Insurance upon our return.

Where it went wrong was that the well-meaning NHS staff didn’t understand the system and why would we be charging a British National for his/her healthcare?  Lack of education/training by NHS bosses, simple as that.

For the government to state and for the press to report differently to that is WRONG. Not a mistake, not a misunderstanding. Iain Douglas Smith’s DWP (yes him again) produce a plethora of leaflets in a multitude of languages informing anyone who sends for one what the situation is.

The NHS’ own website has this to say on the subject ”

If you are moving abroad on a permanent basis, you will no longer be entitled to medical treatment under normal NHS rules. This is because the NHS is a residence-based healthcare system. You’ll also have to notify your GP so that you and your family can be removed from the NHS register.

You will no longer be entitled to use your UK-issued European Health Insurance Card (EHIC) to access healthcare abroad.”

It also says “If you are a visitor from the European Economic Area (EEA) then you are strongly advised to bring a valid European Health Insurance Card (EHIC) with you, otherwise you may be charged for your healthcare.

Your EHIC lets you get state healthcare at a reduced cost or sometimes free. It will cover you for treatment that is needed to allow you to continue your stay until your planned return. It also covers you for treatment of pre-existing medical conditions and for routine maternity care, as long as you’re not going abroad to give birth.

Bear in mind that the UK’s healthcare system may be different from your home country’s and therefore your EHIC might not cover everything that you would expect to get free in your country

I can’t speak for all countries but in France healthcare is NOT free for French residents. Except for certain welfare cases the State pays 60-70% of your healthcare costs and the remaining 30-40% can be repaid by your Health Insurance if you have any, except for 1 Euro. The French government decrees that 1 Euro cannot be reimbursed by anybody, heaven only knows why, those bureaucratic French, don’t you just love them?

If, as British holidaymaker in France you needed to visit the doctor, you would have to pay 23 Euros (last time I was there), probably in cash, and then be charged for any medicines prescribed. The EHIC entitles you to the same service as the French, and that’s what they get.

The French Healthcare system is, in the main, an excellent one. Waiting Lists are hugely lower than they are here, but do not, for one minute, let the government convince you that it is free, not even to the French, except, as I say, basic healthcare for the really poor and disadvantaged.

Our government cannot claim that healthcare in the UK is free to overseas visitors, because EU citizen or not, it should not be free.

It has been estimated that by charging overseas properly for their healthcare could save the NHS £500 Million per year.

But don’t be fooled, this is nothing new, the system already exists, but I know from personal experience of having to tell a doctor or a dentist that they should be charging us for our treatment most NHS employees don’t know because they have not been told. I didn’t hide my address and pretend I was a British resident, I told the truth, and they still didn’t know how to charge me for my treatment.

It’s Lies, plain and simple. Tell the truth Camoron, BBC et al and put systems in place that allow for charging to be carried out as it should be, and report the news accurately and responsibly.

I have no complaints whatsoever about paying for my Healthcare in France, because I was treated the same as a French National, and I hadn’t paid anything into their Health System, but don’t let Camoron,Hunt and Smith convince you that’s free for EU Nationals cos it ain’t.

Happy New Year

Are the Police Being Politicised?

My friend Dai in a large Welsh Constabulary brought this to my attention.

This is a post by Tory PCC Christopher Salmon entitled What is a Conservative PCC?.  This post also appears, in a slightly different form on the Conservativesathome website here.  In it’s latter form it has attracted several complaints that Mr Salmon is trying to politicise the Police.  He makes several bold claims about his success as Dyfed-Powys PCC and seems to be implying that only a Tory could match his success.

Dyfed Powys PCC

Christopher Salmon – Dyfed Powys PCC

Before I go any further I have to pay some respect to Mr Salmon and give him some credit because he claims in these two articles to have removed all Targets from his Police Force.  So I checked, I sent an #FOI request to Dyfed-Powys Police asking them what their current policing targets were for this year, and this is their reply;

Enquiries were made with the Force Corporate Development Department who advised that there is no information held as a result of the fact that the Chief Constable and Police and Crime Commissioner (PCC) have not set or published any targets for Dyfed Powys Police.”  So that seems fair enough, no targets.

I did a bit more digging around the PCC’s website and the Dyfed Powys website and decided “What the hell. Why give him an easy time? Let’s challenge him anyway”  So I sent off this #FOI request to the Dyfed Powys PCC himself;

1) In your post entitled What is a Conservative PCC? on your website you state quite categorically that you have “removed all targets from my police force”.

However I note from your Force’s Community Consultation& Engagement Strategy 2013-2016 that you have set a number of ‘objectives’ each of which has a desired outcome.

This will be monitored by Force performance structures and will be regularly updated and reviewed throughout the year.

Your Police and Crime Plan 2013-18 contains several Policing Priorities. Priority 5 includes an assurance that “performance is accurately recorded and action taken quickly to address complaints;”

Surely these are “Targets” under another name.

Could you please tell me the difference between Targets and Priorities&Objectives in your Policing context?

2) In your post entitled “What is a Conservative PCC?” on your website you state categorically that you “have spent millions training the police to cut crime.”

Could you please tell me

a) in 2012/13 How much money was spent in total training Police Officers to cut or reduce crime;

b) What innovative training, or training unique to your Force, have you personally introduced since you became the PCC?

3) In your post entitled “What is a Conservative PCC?” on your website you include the claim that “When I arrived at Dyfed Powys, I inherited an organisation creaking with inflated senior salaries…………Working with my new Chief Constable, we have cut the cost of the three top salaries from £420,000 to £330,000.”

Could you please tell me

a) What were the three top senior posts referred to in that statement;

b) What were the salaries for those posts previously and what are they now.

Please note that I specifically AM NOT requesting any details of the post-holders themselves.

and finally;

4) Could you please tell me

a) The total cost per annum of running the PCC system for your Force, i.e. the total of salaries and expenses of you (the PCC) and all of your directly related staff (not Police Officers or Civilian employees of the Police Service)

b) In the last year of their existence the total cost of the Dyfed-Powys Police Authority.

In other words, in a direct comparison, which system was is/was cheaper PCC or Police Authority?

While I was waiting for his response I had a trundle round the rest of his website and discovered to my horror (although I shouldn’t have been surprised, he IS a Tory after all) that he is openly promoting the idea of Direct Entry, thinks it’s a great idea……

these plans are a good idea. Forget PCCs, this is the reform with the potential to reshape policing for generations to come. Handled well it will breathe new life into venerable old structures.

The police service needs better leadership, more skills in new areas like finance and online crime and ready access to a wider experience base. Opening up recruitment is the best way to achieve this.

The police service has nothing to fear and everything to gain

Clearly a member of the David Cameron/Theresa May Fan Club then.

Well now I have the replies to my FOI requests.  The first one was the one in relation to Training in which Mr Salmon claimed “To have spent millions training the police to cut crime”  The response was this

a)   I can confirm that the Office of the Police and Crime Commissioner for Dyfed-Powys does not hold information in relation to how much money was spent in training Police Officers in 2012/13. This information will be with Dyfed-Powys Police Force.  So despite his claim in his blog to have spent millions he clearly doesn’t actually know how much his Force has spent on Crime Reduction Training.

I rather thoughtfully asked him what training he personally had introduced into his Force for Crime Reduction, the response was this;

b)   I can confirm that the Office of the Police and Crime Commissioner does hold this information.

Although the Commissioner has overall responsibility for Dyfed-Powys Police, he has not personally introduced any training. Dyfed-Powys Police Force owns the training plan for the organisation.

So, overall, I’m not impressed by his claims on Training, they don’t hold up, and he appears to be making claims that might just qualify him for a Melton Mowbray.

Within his blog Mr Salmon makes reference to inheriting “an organisation creaking with inflated senior salaries. Contracts had apparently been written by staff themselves and signed off by the Police Authority. There were 7.5% bonuses for staying in your job for a year. Police stations had closed while the number of accountants remained untouched. Working with my new Chief Constable, we have cut the cost of the three top salaries from £420,000 to £330,000.”  So I asked him what these reductions had been.

Be prepared for a shock

The three senior posts to have their salaries slashed were

  • The Chief Constable – reduced from £175,014 to £161,819
  • Director of Finances and Resources – reduced from £141,295 to £98,000
  • Chief Executive – reduced from £109,584 to £70,589.

In tandem the Director of Finance and Resources is now only Director of Resources (I do assume that there is a Director of Finance squirrelled away somewhere who will ‘bloat’ these savings somewhat, and the Chief Executive is now Staff Officer.

So, on this occasion he did speak the truth but may not necessarily have told the whole truth.

Next we have my personal favourite, the cost of the PCC’s Empire versus the Cost of the old Police Authority.

2012/2013 was a funny old transitional year, neither one thing nor the other cos PCCs came in in November last year if I recall correctly.

  • But 2011/12 was the last full year of the old Police Authority – Pay-Related Budget – £373,000
  • 2012/13 (the transitional year) – Pay-Related Budget – £369,000 (a very small saving)
  • 2013/14 – Pay-Related Budget – £463,000 (a significant increase I’m sure you’ll agree)
  • 204/15 – Pay-Related Budget – £474,000
  • 2015/16 – Pay-Related Budget – £480,000
  • 2016/17 – Pay-Related Budget – £487,000
  • 2017/18 – Pay-Related Budget – £495,000

I won’t bore you with them but I have the equivalent budget figures for Non Pay-Related Budget and Total Budget figures, and they are available to you if you want them, but suffice to say the PCC’s Empire Pay budgets increase year on year whilst the Non Pay Related Budgets DECREASE year  on year, by approx £150,000 per annum by 2017/18.

So, unless I’ve got this wrong Mr Salmon intends to run his Force more cheaply than the old Police Authority by paying his Empire more and spending less elsewhere. Got It.  I also have the figures for the Chief Constable’s Budget if anyone is sufficiently interested.

This leaves me with just the thorny question of Targets. “In your post entitled What is a Conservative PCC? on your website you state quite categorically that you have “removed all targets from my police force”. This one’s obviously a bit trickier for Mr Salmon because he has yet to reply to this request, but I can always rely on the reply from his Force instead.

Well that’s alright then, yes?  The Force’s Force’s Community Consultation & Engagement Strategy 2013-2016 contains a number of ‘objectives’ each of which has a desired outcome and will be monitored by Force performance structures. Targets? Right?

So the PCC for Dyfed Powys has removed/not set all Targets for his Force and replaced them with a number of Objectives, each of which has a desired outcome, and will be measured. Are these not Targets?

So, to go back to my original question, Are The Police Being Politicised?  I don’t know is the answer, it needs someone far more politically savvy than I to answer that question. One thing is certain however. Mr Christopher Salmon is a TORY PCC who is not above stretching the truth a little and dragging his troops out onto the political battlefield with him.  Leading from the rear if I’m not mistaken.
I have now received the response from Mr Salmon’s office on Targets.
You will remember my question, basically, was this;
Could you please tell me the difference between Targets and Priorities&Objectives in your Policing context?
I will quote the response verbatim as I don’t want to be accused of spinning it (as if)

A priority is the outcome to be achieved i.e. preventing and dealing with incidents of crime.

An objective is how this priority will be achieved i.e. to ensure that prevention is the key focus for both the Police and partners.

A target would put a set expectation on the Force i.e. to reduce crime by 10% – there are no such targets set within the Police and Crime Plan.

In my question I referred to the Community Consultation and Engagement Strategy 2013-16 and that got me a right Royal wrist slap;

“To address the point you make regarding the Community Consultation and Engagement Strategy 2013-16, I would advise that this document is one published by the Chief Constable. The objectives set within it are thereby set by the Chief Constable and are to be delivered by his staff. The aims set out how working relationships can be maintained and built within communities. As is the case with all strategies, delivery will be monitored.”

That’s me told then. If there are any targets/priorities/objectives (delete as appropriate) in the Dyfed Powys police Service they’re the Chief Constable’s fault OK?

Broken Britain, by David Camoron

People of Britain, (please note that I did not say Great Britain, because it’s long since stopped being Great), I have to report to you that Britain is Broken.

The Police Service is broken. Broken by Winsor 1 and 2, broken by Theresa May, my right hand man, broken by our new Police and Crime Commissioners with their 200 performance targets. Broken by the changes to their pensions, pay scales, Compulsory Severance, they are broken.  They spend all their working lives trying to lock people up, well, we just had to break that mould, can’t be having folk locked up now can we? In fact, they are so broken that we’ve had to ask our partners, G4$, $erco and the like, to step in and rescue them and bring huge chunks of them into profit.  The Police have got the hump with me anyway, and all because I described them as ‘Relatively Honest’.  Don’t they realise that was in comparison with Ghaddafi’s Police, why are they even bothered?

The Armed Forces are broken. The combined strength of the Armed Forces is now at its lowest level since World War II when we fought that other despot, Mr Hitler.  We’re going to lose some more in the near future, but fear not, because I have a cunning plan.  We’ll increase the numbers of the Territorial Army and hopefully no-one will notice the difference.  If that doesn’t work we’ll get Captain Mainwaring and his men out of retirement to bolster the numbers and protect our shores and assets.

The Fire Brigade is broken. Fire Engines have been sold off, Fire Stations are being closed. Privatisation/Outsourcing/Partnership is creeping in, Firefighters are going to have to work longer for less pension, so all is well and going to plan.

The National Health Service is broken. Waiting lists are on the rise again, we’re haemorrhaging  doctors and nurses, they don’t want to stay any more. Hospital budgets are buggered, waiting times in A&E are completely unacceptable. The Health Service is safe in our hands, but Broken.

Because the Hospitals are broken, that has broken the Ambulance Service, who can no longer deliver their patients to hospital in a timely manner and get back out there.  Instead they spend hours parked up on the A&E Ambulance ramp just waiting, before they can get back into service once again.  The upside of this though, is that they can claim compensation from the hospital for keeping them waiting, thus screwing the hospital’s budget just a little bit more.

The Coastguards are broken.  We’ve closed down nearly half the Coastguard Stations around the British coast, with nice new shiny Central Control Centres set up miles from the sea.  Coastguard numbers are down too, so we’re well on target to have smashed them anytime soon.  The Search and Rescue Service has been sold off to a foreign company, so no matter how efficient they are at finding folk, they’re working for profit and those profits will go abroad. That’s good right? I’d quite like to outsource the RNLI as well, but as that’s a charity it might take a bit more thinking about.

The Prison Service is broken.  We are now beginning to see prisons run by our partners G4$ and $erco etc. It will soon be a shadow of its former self, but at least it will be privately run.

The Probation Service is broken.  Once again our illustrious partners G4$ and $erco came riding to the rescue and took on parts of the Probation Service remit, and even though they’re facing ongoing fraud enquiries because they seemingly charged for services they did not provide, that’s OK, that nice Chris Grayling has said that it’s OK for them to bid for new contracts

Social Services are so broken that G4$ have had to take over the running of some Children’s Homes, and apply for Planning Permission etc under the name of a private individual.

The Legal System is broken.  We were going to award contracts to the lowest bidder, but Chris Grayling has U Turned on that.  We will however carry out the following

  • Legal aid fees will be cut by 17.5% across the board
  • Residency tests to be introduced for civil legal aid – only those who have lived in the UK for more than 12 months will be eligible
  • Cap on contracts for duty solicitor work at police stations
  • Income restrictions will be put in place – those with more than £3,000 per month after mortgage, tax and other “essential outgoings” will not be entitled to aid
  • 11,000 cases brought by prisoners will no longer be eligible
  • And on top of that you will no longer be eligible for Legal Aid to challenge any Government decision.  That’s fair, right?

The Penal System is broken along with Human Rights.  Too many people, mainly victims or people who might become victims,, bang on about the Human Rights of victims.  Don’t they know that criminals have Human Rights too?  We need LESS prisons, not more, and stop violating criminals’ rights by banging them up.  If I had my way I’d withdraw from the ECHR completely, nothing but aggravation.

Finally, our greatest success to date, and one of which I, personally, am immensely proud, the people of Britain are broken.  Their will has been drained and smashed.  They don’t know where to get help and advice any more and they certainly don’t have the means to challenge our wonderful reforms. they are smashed.

So, as you can see, Britain is comprehensively broken, and I broke it.  When I joined the scumbag party I made it my mission to become the most loathed British Prime Minister in modern times, and I think I have succeeded don’t you?  Even Maggie didn’t break anywhere near as much as I have succeeded in doing, but we couldn’t have achieved any of this without the help and support from our chums at PX, they really are the best Think Tankers ever.

Please remember this when you go to the polls in May 2015, but if for any reason, there happens to be a miserable turnout, that will still give us a mandate for further breaking, because we said so.