Dusty, you have inspired me. I have spent literally….well minutes, thinking whether or not us chaps would be better off single or wed (other forms of partnership are available).
Whilst I must declare that I am a long time member of the married fraternity, heaven only knows how, just for today I will attempt to redress the balance and outline some of the benefits you may have in your ‘single’ life
First there’s the spa bath. What woman is going to feel safe with you relaxing in your nice new spa bath with a rifle and a supply of beer? Being single you can ‘the guys’ round, soak, drink and shoot. What could be better after after a hard day’s graft. Definitely won’t be happening with a woman in the house.
Secondly, what woman do you know that would let you service your motor bike in the lounge and then take it for a test drive? If it’s raining outside you don’t want it getting wet once you serviced, cleaned and polished it do you?
So you want to go boarding with the guys? Can’t be doing with all that wetsuit malarky, boards are too expensive and it costs a fortune to go to a proper facility. A wife would want to go and hang out with the girls and make sure you were doing it properly and not showing her up.
Take Christmas, wives like to have nice sparkly Christmas Trees in the corner bristling with fairy lights, chocolate coins and all sorts of unnecessary things that just take up space and stop you putting the important things for Christmas on the tree.
Then there’s Christmas decorations. Paper Chains, gold and red stars, little baubles, that’s what women want around the house. Well let’s have some Man Decorations I say, get up on that roof and let’s have a Pissing Santa, why-ever not? Perfectly tasteful I say, acceptable in any neighbourhood.
Finally Cooking, what makes women think that men can’t cook? I’ve got my power tools, I can mix a cake just as good as a Magimix or whatever they’re called. I think I’ve proved my point Dusty, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being 40 and single. I’m older than you and I can see me being single some time soon. Enjoy it mate.